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According to Dutch philosopher and psychologist Gijs Deckers, it’s in our nature to think in terms of radical solutions. “In philosophy, we call that ‘dichotomous thinking’ – thinking in terms of opposites, such as happy/unhappy, high/low,” he explains. “It is easier to see things in black and white than to pay attention to all the grey tints in between.”
Deckers says that’s also how we look for solutions. We think that only the opposite of what is making us unhappy will make us happy: having a detailed orientated employee, rather than a big picture one; working with your hands instead of your mind; living abroad instead of in your hometown. This leaves us defenceless against the errors in our thinking. We go back and forth between extremes, because with each extreme brings a drawback.
Another mistake we make in our thinking is to overestimate the emotional impact of a future event. Scientists call this “impact bias.” We think we’ll be overcome with joy once we fix up that little castle in the south of France, or that all our problems will be solved when we hire that employee who is going to manage all the details which are currently being overlooked. But reality is a little different to that. You may not feel quite at home in the French countryside and your new employee is spending so long buried in the detail that they’re holding everyone else up. Before you know it, you’ll be succumbing to mistake number 1 again – ‘dichotomous thinking’ – and considering another drastic change.
* Identify the areas which are currently frustrating you and you’re longing to be solved. Rather than looking at a complete solution, identify what a partial solution might look like. What would make this better?
* On a scale of 1 – 10, where 10 is perfect, where are you now? What needs to happen, for you to move just one or two notches up the scale?
* These are the areas in which to focus. Better is much more attainable than perfect and creates positive movement in the right direction. Now go take action in those areas!
